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  • Writer's pictureNyaria Lee

The Busy Mom Diaries: Self-Care.



What is self-care and how do you do it?

Self-care is the act of attending to one’s physical or mental health, generally without medical or other professional consultation.

For a while self-care has been a buzz word flying around in workplace PowerPoints, expressing the need to cope with the never-ending workload. Social media posts have been flooded with motivational quotes, YouTube videos about skincare routines, all mentioning how vital and necessary it is to partake in different self-care activities.

Self-care has been mentioned on almost every platform I can think of, with the intent to convey that we as people need to, well, take care of ourselves. Or…maybe it was just me noticing it, who knows.

The concept of self-care sounds good, sounds achievable and obviously makes sense, right? Buuuuuuut as a busy mom, this is so freakin hard for me to accomplish.

I have thoughts about this and lots of reflections. So, grab some coffee and tune in to my TED talk.

Feeling Guilty

Okay so motherhood for me was different. I didn’t have nine months to prepare for a baby, really, I barely had a day. Truth be told, I was not ready to become a mom but fast forward and boom! I’m full on mommin-it; sports teams, school I.E.P’s, action figures, play dates and all.

What I did was amazing and admirable although I was extremely naïve about it. Very long story short and will be cleared up with another blog post. I made mistakes during this time and LOTS of them, mistakes that still flood me with guilt today, a whole 10 years later!

What this guilt had done to me was made me turn into Super Mom with a capital S. I made myself into a VERY busy mom and created my life around my child. I heavily focused on his education, his development, and his well-being. Worked multiple jobs so that I could give him everything that he didn’t have before. Nothing wrong with that BUT the issue was that I neglected my own wants and needs. There was no balance, it was all about him.

Okay now, TED talk coming to an end.

Through a massive number of reflections, stress, and an unhealthy consumption of caffeine, I started to see that there was more and more of a need for some type of self-care.

Balance is everything.

My love for my son and past mistakes didn’t need to negate the fact that I required care for my mind and body.

My son and his needs matter AND so do I.

To effectively care for him, I had to first care for myself. I needed to put my oxygen mask on first before helping others.

Okay really, rant over but I’ll leave you with this:

Self-Care Suggestions

We’ve got to be our best selves so that we can show up for our kids or anyone else for that matter. Mommas, enjoy that iced coffee time alone, go shopping for yourself (without buying anything for your kids) and demolish that German chocolate cake without sharing.

If you’re stuck and not sure what self-care means for you, start by taking it slow; use free time to think or just be in the moment. Here’s a few activities that I do to build better self-care habits:

1. Waking up a little earlier so that I can enjoy time to myself.

2. Going shopping alone.

3. Following along to 10–15-minute workout videos. Need a suggestion? Try https://www.youtube.com/@MonikaFitt

4. Independent craft activities

5. Taking a few moments to write down things I’m grateful for in my daily gratitude journal.

6. Looking up and making new recipes.

Remember, self-care is good and necessary care. Now as far as that mom-guilt… Look out for the next blog!

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